In his letter, James provides practical advice in living out our faith specifically within relationships. Like Paul, James anchors his wisdom for living to the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
For example, in his first chapter, he wrote:
He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created. My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. James 1:18-20
Notice how he sets the foundation. As believers, we have been born again through the word of truth. We are a kind of firstfruits of all He created. Right now, right here we are the initial subjects of God’s new creative order. We are ambassadors of God’s kingdom in this world of darkness.
Building on the foundation, he gives us wisdom to carry into our relationships — be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.
There is no quicker way to show a person that you care about them and are interested in them than to listen.
- Husband, take the time to listen to your wife. Look her in the eye and hear what is on her heart.
- Mom, Dad, listen to your children. Hear what is on their minds and learn the things that are important to them.
- Teacher, listen to your student.
- Employer, listen to your employees. It might help make your company more successful.
- Friends, listen to each other. Your friendship will be much stronger for it.
- Believers, listen to one another. You belong to each other, you are fellow members of the body. Take a listen and discover the unity you have in Christ.
I address this on a recent broadcast. You can listen here .
How can we experience positive, healthy relationships in life. The first step is to be quick to listen. Your attention will send a strong message that you care.
Are you listening?
Relationships, any relationship, especially with my creator/savior, have never been easy. It was always, “I won’t measure up to their expectations.” or “They’re just being nice, they don’t want me in their circle.” or “I don’t deserve God’s love, how could He love me!”
Matthew 6:25-34 (The Message-MSG)
“If you decide for God, living a life of God-worship, it follows that you don’t fuss about what’s on the table at mealtimes or whether the clothes in your closet are in fashion. There is far more to your life than the food you put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body. Look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God. And you count far more to him than birds.
“Has anyone by fussing in front of the mirror ever gotten taller by so much as an inch? All this time and money wasted on fashion—do you think it makes that much difference? Instead of looking at the fashions, walk out into the fields and look at the wildflowers. They never primp or shop, but have you ever seen color and design quite like it? The ten best-dressed men and women in the country look shabby alongside them.
“If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don’t you think he’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I’m trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving. People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.
“Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.”
I don’t remember when these verses first made me aware of what was available to me. Over time they have reminded me where my real focus needs to be centered, and, today, “The Message” happens to express my where my thoughts are!
This is a continuing problem for me in conversations with my wife. Women communicate differently than men do and much of the time they are just thinking out loud. She is relating something that is going on in here life and I (and men in gereral) when we have a problem presented to us, want to fix it. She gets to frustrated with me, and I don’t know why she is angry or just put off. Then there those time when witnessing to someone, they will say something like” well what about the pygmies in africa) or something similar, and I just ignore the question, and go on to the presentation. That might seem inconsiderate, but if you’ve had the opportunity, you’ll know what I getting at. But it is all too true, We could all be better listners. As Bob G. used to say,”God gave one mouth and two ears” Just my 2, no 10 cents worth.
Hey Boyd, I’ve learned that most of the time when Jeanna talks with me, she is not looking for a solution or a fix to the problem. She wants to know that I care about what’s going on. She just wants me for that moment. Listening to her with undivided attention (yes, I have to turn sports off)provides the connection and the togetherness that we both need.
Bingo! Well said!
At times, I have to confess, it’s hard to listen. My focus isn’t very long, and when I try to listen to a long winded person, be they family, friend, or co-worker, I find myself spacing out. I WANT to listen better, to be more alert, but I also don’t want to encourage the long winded speaker to continue. Selfish? Perhaps. I do know, truly listening, the listener makes a comment every so often at what’s being said, or at least gives facial expressions of understanding, agreement, or other such. I find that the more I allow the love of God to flow through me, the longer my attention span can be on the speaker of the moment. The only thing that counts, is faith, expressing itself through love. The loving thing to do would be to listen to those who need us.
Although I’ve often wished my husband would listen to me, I have to admit that because he doesn’t, it keeps me humble. When I have no one with which to share my frustrations with, I know I can always count on God to listen. “Turn your eyes upon Jesus….” is pretty much my anthem. Jesus always hears and listens.
Lisa: I always like what you have to say. You seem to always get to the crux of the message and say it so well. Thanks for your concise, well thought out posts.
Hi Boyd,
Thanks for your kind words. Your post help me understand my husband a bit better, as I was thinking, “Hmm, I wonder if BH is thinking the same way?” while reading.
I appreciate you speaking from your heart. It helped me be more patient with my hubby in just this last week or so–so thanks!
Lisa