“I know God has forgiven me, but I am having a hard time forgiving myself.”
This might be your situation. If so, you are not alone. Many people find it difficult to forgive themselves.
Look underneath the hood of this perplexing problem and three main causes emerge.
- People who struggle with forgiving themselves also struggle with God’s forgiveness. They may say they know that God has forgiven them, but the fact they cannot forgive themselves indicates that they are not resting in Christ’s finished work on the cross.
- People wrestling with forgiving themselves constantly dwell on the sins of the past. Whenever a person dwells on past mistakes and the consequences of those mistakes, they experience guilt, shame and fear in their present. These feelings mask the truth that Christ has taken away their sins and that forgiveness is theirs.
- People wrestling with forgiving themselves struggle with a poor self-image. Rather than seeing themselves through God’s eyes, they see themselves in light of their sins. They may verbalize their identity in Christ, but in their hearts they still see themselves as sinners.
The path to experiencing personal forgiveness starts at the cross.
Step one is to rest in the finished work of Christ, thanking Him for the forgiveness you have in Him.
- He died once for all of your sins. He took them away, nailing them to the cross.
- He remembers your sins no more.
- In Him, you are forgiven people.
Step two is to leave your past behind.
- Since God does not remember you sins, it doesn’t make sense for you to keep dredging them up.
- The word forgiveness means to send away or to let go. This conveys the idea of letting sins go from ones further notice or care. Jesus judged sin, he condemned sin and he paid the penalty for sin in full. He did it all.
- Choosing not to dwell on the past is an attitude that grows out of this liberating truth.
Step three is to embrace your identity in Christ.
- No longer are you called a sinner. God declares you to be His child. You may not feel or act like a child of God at times, but this does not change the truth.
- God sent his Spirit into your hearts to bear witness with your human spirit that we are a child of God. This testimony breaks the bonds of fear in your life and gives confidence to draw near to God.
If you are struggling with forgiving yourself, step fully into the forgiveness of God and rest in Christ’s finished work on the cross. His forgiveness will enable you to keep your past in the past and will help you live in your identity as a child of God.